


Where He Stood

by mountain_ash



Series: Keep the Faith for Me [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Episode: s13e23 Let the Good Times Roll, First Kiss, Gap Filler, POV Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 15:29:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14718752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mountain_ash/pseuds/mountain_ash
Summary: The rest of what happens when Dean says "yes."





	Where He Stood

His terms were firm, but Castiel knew they were meaningless. When Dean turned back towards him one final time, Cas knew he mostly likely understood they were meaningless too.  

Dean’s lips contorted in anguish as he stared hard at Castiel, awaiting a final argument or an agreement, Cas wasn’t certain which. He could do neither as he returned Dean’s expression of crazed fear with his own of anguish. He didn’t know if it was true, what Dean had said about choice. Castiel’s own knowledge of free will still only skimmed the surface of Dean’s years of native experience on the matter and he didn’t have the presence of mind to think more deeply on it. Dean believed he didn’t have a choice and in the ten years he had known him, Cas had never seen Dean lose faith in free will so completely.

When he didn’t respond, Dean stepped closer, desperation in his eyes.

“I don’t have a choice.” His voice wobbled and Castiel realized with horror that he was asking for permission to say no. Dean was begging Castiel to have faith where he was lacking.

The angel’s nostrils flared as he felt the rising tide of pain sear up his throat and sting behind his eyes. Their situation was impossible. A choice existed but it was no choice at all.  


“The world will burn either way,” Cas hated the clench of Dean’s jaw as the man realized what he was saying. “But you will save Jack and Sam with one.”

A shuddering gasp pushed from Dean’s lungs as his lips opened slack in defeat. He brought his hand up to clutch behind Cas’s neck, fingers kneading painfully into the tight muscles along his spine.

“What about you?” Dean’s voice was gruff and loud, angry as the fingers gripped him tight. His warm green eyes were clouded with unshed tears as he stared directly into the blue of Cas’s.

His own tears finally fell upon this question, the pain of his reality overwhelming him.

“It won’t matter if I’m saved.” Cas shook his head, futilely trying to shake Dean’s grip off his neck but the man wouldn’t budge. Instead he pushed his thumb against the bolt of Cas’s jaw and forced him to look up. There was determination in his face where it hadn’t existed before.

“I just got you back, Cas. I’m going to come back. Saving you will matter.”

Tear tracks continued to drift down Cas’s cheeks and he stared back at Dean, but the hunter swiped them away with his thumbs. His touch was gentle, feather-light, a stark contrast to the bruising strength of his grip on Cas’s neck from moments before. The angel let out a shuddering breath at the sensation, but it caught as Dean dropped one hand to Cas’s chest over his pounding heart and leaned in until he could speak directly into his ear.

“I’m coming back to you, do you understand?”

Dean’s palm was hot over Cas’s heart and his breath was electric over his skin as his words broke through his paralysis. He stepped close and pressed his lips to Dean’s ear, until it felt they could not possibly be closer and Dean’s palm was trapped between their hearts.

“You have to fight him with everything you have, Dean. For me.”

It was likely not long that they remained that way, motionless and terrified, but Cas knew he would remember it as a near eternity of physical comfort before the expanse of cold that followed. Michael clearing his throat disrupted their temporary state of calm and Castiel tensed in preparation for Dean pulling away. He didn’t though. Instead, his fingers tightened onto the lapel of Cas’s coat and with a slowness of motion so deliberate Castiel held his breath as he waited, Dean pressed the tip of his nose to the angel’s cheekbone until their foreheads were pressed to one another. Dean’s eyes were shining and overwhelmed with dread and Cas met his unwavering gaze.

“I’m sorry.” Dean whispered, his voice choked with the weight of defeat, but he couldn’t accept defeat yet. Cas needed him to come home.

He tipped his chin the small distance remaining to finally press their lips together. He had expected for Dean to retreat, eyes wide in shock, but he didn’t. A small sigh of relief slipped through his lips and his eyelids fell reverently shut. For the span of the few moments Dean returned the kiss with warm lips and unspoken feeling, Cas felt loved beyond measure. It had to end, though. 

Dean stepped back with a pitiful whimper and pain in his eyes, but he didn’t relinquish his hold on Castiel’s coat. His lip quivered as he stared into Cas’s eyes, as though determined they be the last thing he see before he was lost. “Yes.”

Blinding light overtook the room in a mere second’s time but Castiel couldn’t look away. He needed to see Dean until the last moment he was himself. As the light faded, Dean stood stiffly in his place as huge, black wings stretched behind him. Castiel only had time to catch a glimpse of the spirit behind his eyes and then, with a ruffle of air, he was gone.

Castiel knew precisely how long he stood in place and stared at the spot Dean had stood when he was last himself. Nine minutes and 17 seconds passed while Castiel stared at the tile upon which Dean had given permission. Five-hundred and fifty-seven seconds crept along as Castiel listened to Dean praying to him for strength as he faced Lucifer followed by joyful calls of victory, before silence. The angel’s head bowed under the oppressive silence and he stared at the spot no longer. He would never again be able to look at this spot, or step across it, potentially even stand near it. It would forever be the place where he lost the reason he was on earth.

**Author's Note:**

> The next part is going to be Dean's POV while possessed and what I would love to actually happen!


End file.
